Surro Files - Killing Time & Planning Ahead

Well, as you've guessed it, we're kind of in a dead zone right now.  In between cycles just waiting... and waiting.  As Belle just posted on her blog about ways to pass the time without going crazy, I too am trying to think of ways to pass the time.  I wish my ways were more productive, but alas, playing Candy Crush was the highlight of my night yesterday.  Haha!  I really should delete that game one day.  It'll suck minutes, hours, days, maybe even years of your life away with pointless crushing of the candy.  But it does keep me busy during this waiting period.  

I will say I've been a little productive with my time this week though.  I've been researching things I can do to make this next transfer more successful.  Mostly I've been doing research on supplements to increase blood flow and uterine lining.  Here are a few articles that a friend sent my way.  One is an article on "How To Increase Fertility".  The other is a study about "Endometrial Growth and Uterine Blood Flow".  After reading them I decided to add both L-Arginine and Vitamin E to my daily vitamin intake.  I started the Vitamin E (600 mg a day) yesterday since I was able to pick it up at the grocery store and the L-Arginine (3,000 mg a day) today after I finally found some at our local CVS pharmacy. 

In addition to my added supplements I've also decided to add a little yoga into my daily routine.  Who couldn't use a little de-stressing and extra exercise?  Maybe I should have my daughter start up on the routine with me.  She's been pretty stressed about school lately.  Poor girl.

So there you have it.  We're waiting.  Still planning on a September 26th transfer, but I don't have the full calendar with all the medications and monitoring appointments on it yet.  Hopefully I'll get that in the next few days.  I think I'll bug the clinic for it tomorrow.  Don't they know that Belle and I are going crazy here waiting????

Don't forget to check out my "Surrogacy" tab at the top of this page to catch up on any posts you might have missed

*Some of the names in this post have been changed to protect the identities of those involved in this journey*

Surro Files - Seeing the Negative & the Positive of Surrogacy

Image by: Teerapun on freedigitalphotos.net

I'm so sorry I left you all hanging!  I promised I would update you as soon as I heard the results from our beta test that was on Monday, but that just didn't happen.  It took a day to get the results and they were just as I thought they would be... negative.  Bla!  I was so surprised at how badly I took the news.  It's one thing to know that the transfer didn't work, but it's a whole different story to REALLY know that the transfer didn't work.  Like Belle said in her blog post, I almost just wish they would have sent it in an e-mail.  It might have hurt a little less.  To top off the not so great phone call, the nurse informed me that the embryo lab would be closed for the next 3 weeks so I would have to be put on birth control instead of heading right on into another cycle.  Boo!

Enough of the negative though!  On to the positive!!!  By the end of the day I was feeling better.  I repeated to myself Belle's wise words that even with IVF your chance of success is only 35%, but your odds are very good (I think she said 95%) that you will be successful within 3 transfer attempts.  Let's just hope that all we need is 2!!!!

This morning I was presented with a great surprise.  My period had started!!!!  LOL!  I'm sure that you are wondering why that's great news.  Well, it means a fresh start and brand new hope for this next cycle.  I will help to create a baby for Belle and Adam very soon!  I called the clinic with great excitement to tell them that Day 1 was here!  The nurse informed me that she and the doctor would review my file and get back to me with a new transfer date by the end of the day.

Tick Tock, Tick Tock, Tick Tock...  It was an hour before the clinic closed so I sent an e-mail just to check in.  Any word yet???  Then 15 minutes before they closed I got an e-mail!!!!  WE HAVE A DATE!!!!!  It looks like our new transfer date will be September 26th.  Just a little over a month away.  I also found out that we will not be doing a natural cycle this time around.  Back to the medications for me.  Still not sure what all I will be taking, but as of now I know that I will be on birth control for two weeks.  Then I will start on my cycle medications which will include the estradiol (estrogen) pill that I took during the first cycle, and a new progesterone suppository.  No mention of the Lupron shots which would be awesome, but they really weren't that bad, so I could go either way.  Just so happy to have a plan in the works!  It still needs some fine tuning, but we are on our way.

UPDATE:  For the comment below I have added this cute cartoon that sums up my thoughts on the matter.  A surro friend of mine had just posted it on her blog "A Baby To Share".

Don't forget to check out my "Surrogacy" tab at the top of this page to catch up on any posts you might have missed

*Some of the names in this post have been changed to protect the identities of those involved in this journey*

Surro Files - The Moment Of Truth...

Well, it's been about two weeks since the embryo transfer and today is the moment of truth.  It's blood draw day.  Not only will they be checking my hormone levels, but they will also be checking to see if I'm pregnant or not.  The chances are pretty slim that I am since I did home pregnancy tests from last Sunday through Thursday with no luck.  I did get a light line on Wednesday, but it decided to disappear shortly afterwards.  Crap!  Both Belle and I agree that was a pretty evil trick to play on a couple and a surro that are already on the edge of their seats.  Just for the record... that was an Answer test, and I will not be using those again!

Back to my blood test though...  I completed the test this morning and should have the results later today or tomorrow morning.  We don't expect a positive so we've already been planning for transfer number two.  I won't know when that will be till after the blood test results, but my guess is that it will be either mid September or late September.  Not sure if it will be another natural cycle, but I certainly hope that it is.  Belle, Adam, and I are even throwing around the idea of transferring two embryos next time.  Anything to give us better odds at getting a BFP (big fat positive pregnancy test!!!).  I'll make sure to update you all as soon as I get word about the test.  Let's hope for a miracle!

In other news... My girls started back up at school today.  I can't believe my oldest is now in the 2nd grade and my middle is in the 1st grade!!!  They're getting so big now.  This past weekend we went out shopping to get their back to school outfits.  Don't they look hip?!?!  Good luck girls!!!!  I hope this year is great for you both!

Don't forget to check out my "Surrogacy" tab at the top of this page to catch up on any posts you might have missed

*Some of the names in this post have been changed to protect the identities of those involved in this journey*

Surro Files - Testing Time!

It's officially that time!!!!  It's the time we can't wait for, yet the time we dread.  It's the moment of truth.  Did the transfer work or did it fail?  I guess we'll know soon enough.

Belle and I had originally planned to start testing at home tomorrow (Tuesday).  We figured that would be a great start date without starting too early.  Well that plan didn't work out so well...

Late last week I was feeling great!  I was feeling slightly crampy and totally had no doubt in my mind that the transfer had worked.  Then something changed Saturday afternoon.  The crampiness stopped.  I kept thinking it might come back, but it didn't and that worried me.  Now it's been awhile since I've been in a two week wait to test (about 2-1/2 years), and I completely forgot how crazy it makes you.  You question everything you did.  You question everything you didn't do.  You question every twinge, ache, and symptom.

That being said, I caved.  I couldn't wait it out till the Tuesday goal and I tested yesterday (Sunday).  Negative.  And I tested again today.  Negative.  Strangely it makes me feel more calm to test.  At least I know one way or the other for that particular day.  I haven't lost hope.  It's still early and we still have time to get that big fat positive!  Tomorrow I have a hormone level check, then we have our beta blood pregnancy test next Tuesday.

I've got everything crossed and hoping this works out for Belle and Adam.  I don't want to let them down!!!!

Don't forget to check out my "Surrogacy" tab at the top of this page to catch up on any posts you might have missed

*Some of the names in this post have been changed to protect the identities of those involved in this journey*

Surro Files - The Big Day!!!

My Sexy Transfer Outfit

Yesterday was the BIG DAY!!!!  Ok, I know I should have updated sooner, but to be honest, I was just super tired!  I guess I didn't realize just how much gearing up for the big day would take out of me.  That being said, I spent most of my time vegging out at the hotel.  SO, how did the big day go????  I'll tell you all about it!

I had my alarm set to go off at 7am, but of course I woke up at 6:30.  I ALWAYS wake up at 6:30.  It doesn't matter if I'm on the east coast, or the west coast.  I could be in Australia and I would most likely wake up at 6:30.  It's just my internal clock that has no sense of time zones.  At least I don't get jet lag.  Anyways, of course as usual I used that time to catch up on my social net works till 7am.  I was going to write Belle an e-mail, but I was sure she had already started off on the subway from NYC to get here in time.  I freshened up with a shower, put on some cozy clothes, and headed downstairs for breakfast.  Yay for free continental breakfasts!!!  Today I had some bran cereal, a hard boiled egg, and some orange juice.  Seemed like a healthy breakfast to start off an awesome day!

At 8:15 I headed out to the clinic.  Although the transfer was set for 9am, they wanted me to get there 30 minutes early.  No need to fast or eat a special diet.  No need to hold my pee.  Just show up ready to go.  I can do that!  I got there a little ahead of schedule and they informed me that Belle had headed out for some coffee and would be back soon.  She'd already been there an hour to make sure she was there on time.  You never know with those crazy train schedules.  When she did get back we still had to wait quite awhile.  Honestly I really didn't even look at the clock after this point because I was so excited and lost all track of time.  It didn't matter though.  We always have such a great time talking and I love hearing all of her stories, so waiting awhile didn't bother me at all.

The Super Cute Bean

Finally they called us back to do some preliminary paperwork, go over the procedure, and the post procedure guidelines.  We signed off that we were transferring one embryo for Belle and Adam, and they even gave us a cute picture of the little bean waiting for a bed to sleep in for the next 9 months.  Simply adorable!  After that we snapped a picture with our celebrity Dr. Lavy (I'm sure he has to take pictures at least 5 times a day), then headed back to get changed.  Belle was given a lovely yellow apron, a blue hair bonnet, and some super cute blue booties to wear over her shoes.  I was presented with a fashionable gown, blue hair bonnet, and some super sexy blue socks.  I really should have gotten a picture of these socks, because they really made the outfit.  Belle and I snapped one last picture together, then headed on into the procedure room.

The procedure room was fairly big although only a small portion of it was used for the actual transfer.  There was a bed all set up with stirrups and an ultrasound machine which I was guided to.  Belle was guided to stand at the head of the bed.  The room was dimly lit which made it easier to see the ultrasound machine, but the doctor had a bright light just for my lady bits.  He got everything prepared by placing a speculum in my vagina while the nurse lubed my belly up with gel for the ultrasound wand.  Then we waited for what seemed like an eternity for another nurse to come in with the embryo although I'm sure it was only a minute.  Everything seems like an eternity when there is a room of people looking at your vagina.  She finally came in when a long catheter that contained the single embryo.  When the doctor inserted the catheter I did experience a little bit of pinching and cramping, but nothing that I would say hurt to the point of needing medications afterwards.  It was amazing seeing the little embryo travel up into my uterus on the screen and hopefully settle in over the next week or two.  After that the doctor turned off the screen, he inserted a progesterone suppository, then removed the speculum.  It was as easy as that!  I don't think I was in there for even 10 minutes!  Immediately afterwards they rolled in a gurney which I transferred myself to, and they rolled us down the hall to recovery.

Hanging Out With My Girls After The Transfer

Belle and I spent about an hour in recovery just chatting it up and looking at magazines before we were released.  I drove us back to the hotel where we hung out for awhile before heading out to lunch with the girls.  After lunch Belle had to head on back to NYC though.  I was bummed to see her go, but so glad that it worked out so that she could attend the transfer.  Her flight headed out at 6pm to go home.  Meanwhile I spent the rest of the day relaxing.

So what now?  Well, I'll continue my progesterone suppositories 3 times a day to make sure my hormone levels are good.  I'm to take it easy for 48 hours (but not bedrest).  No swimming, no baths, no alcohol (duh), eat healthy, and just relax.  In one week we will test my hormone levels to make sure they look good, and then in 2 weeks we will have our pregnancy test at the lab.  Of course Bell and I won't be able to wait that long so I think we'll be testing in a week with home pregnancy tests.  Keep your fingers crossed that this baby snuggles in for a good 9 months before entering this world and their parent's arms.  I really wish I could have posted some of the cute pictures Belle and I took on this great day, but hopefully in the future I'll be able to create a big slideshow from beginning to start.

Don't forget to check out my "Surrogacy" tab at the top of this page to catch up on any posts you might have missed

*Some of the names in this post have been changed to protect the identities of those involved in this journey*

Surro Files - Gearing Up For The Big Day!

Well we're here in Connecticut and having a great time!!!!

Saturday was pretty much just a flying day.  We woke up at 4am and got to our hotel at 7pm.  Ugh!!!  You think that's bad?  My husband and daughter didn't get to the hotel till about 10pm!!!!  They were on a different flight from Reagan and I.  While waiting for them I got to meet up with another surrogate friend of mine that had just done her transfer the day before.  So much fun getting together with others going through the same thing as you.  She even gave me a play by play of the transfer so I would know what to expect.  

Sunday we headed out to NYC bright and early to see the Statue if Liberty.  Belle met us there and it was awesome hanging out together!  None of us had toured the statue before so it was pretty cool.  The girls were pretty quiet but then again they usually are when they first meet someone.  They did love the gifts they got from Belle though.  She got them each a bag filled with a diary, headband, tote, and friendship bracelet making kit.  In addition she got me a pregnancy journal (for me and Brian), a necklace, a travel tote, a pregnancy exercise book, and a pregnant fairy statue.  So sweet of her!!!!  After the statue we headed on over to the Cake Boss bakery in New Jersey.  We ordered a cake, so despite the fact that the line was a mile long, we got to walk right in!!!!  It was soooooo yummy!  After that we hit up Times Square, the Disney store, a pizza place, and took a picture with the naked cowboy.  Yep!

Today I did my last monitoring appointment.  It was just the routine bloodwork and ultrasound.  I admit, I was pretty stressed when I noticed on the ultrasound machine that my lining had shrunk from 8.7 to the 7 range.  I honestly didn't ask the actual number because I was scared what she would say.   In the end she said everything looked fine though, and they would contact me when my blood results were in.  At that time they would confirm the day and time for the transfer.  While waiting for the results we headed back to NYC.  This time to Central Park and the NYC Zoo to hang out with Belle again.  Let me just say... If you've seen the movie Madagascar, this zoo is nothing like that movie!  There are no zebras, no hippos, no girrafs, and no lions!  There are penguins and monkeys, but that's about it!  It's pretty darn small.  We still had fun though, and I love Central Park!  We even got some Geocaching in!  This was Belle's first time so it was lots of fun!  Before heading back to the hotel we gave Belle her gift.  I'd been waiting forever to give it to her!!!!  I got her a baby book (complete with surrogacy pages), one of my pregnancy journals that I designed specifically for intended parents, a build a bear made by the girls, and some drawings from the girls.  I think she liked them!!!!

For what seemed like an eternity I waited for a call from the clinic.  Finally on the way to the hotel (while we were getting Dunkin Doughnuts) I got the call.  We're set for 9 am!!!!!!  Get there 30 minutes early.  No need to fast.  No need for a full bladder.  We'll stay there an hour after and then we can go back to the hotel.  So excited for this and I'm so glad it worked out that Belle will be there!!!!!  I'll update more tomorrow on how things go.  Stay tuned!!!!!  Till then please enjoy some pictures of the trip so far.  Totally want to post my pictures with Belle but we've agreed no pictures till a later date. Maybe I'll do a big photo montage after the baby is born.  

Reagan and I heading out on the plane. 

Cake Boss!!!!!

Wore the girls out!

My monitoring appointment. 

The NYC Zoo. 

Our gift to Belle and Ryan. 

Don't forget to check out my "Surrogacy" tab at the top of this page to catch up on any posts you might have missed

*Some of the names in this post have been changed to protect the identities of those involved in this journey*

Surro Files: And We're Off!

Crazy!  If I were to pick one word to describe yesterday, it would be "crazy".  From the time I woke up to the time I went to sleep I was on pins and needles and biting my nails down to little nubs.  Did I mention I'm on a plane headed to Connecticut  right now?  Oh yeah, it was that crazy of a day.  Let me start from the beginning...

Yesterday morning I was instructed by the clinic to do blood draw labs in order to test my hormone levels.  More specifically, they wanted to measure my Estradiol, LH, and Progesterone levels in order to see if I ovulated.  Now normally I'd go to Quest who will have the results to me the next day, but today I really needed the results ASAP!  I called everywhere trying to find a lab that would process the results the same day and just when I was going to give up I found one!  I was so excited that I flew out the door at 7am to get there right when it opened only to find out when I got there that the customer service rep on the phone had lied to me.  They did not process the labs same day.  It would take three days!  [Enter cuss word here] Well I huffed out of that place annoyed as all heck that I drove clear across town and trucked it on over to Quest where I usually go.  I guess I'd just have to wait a day for the results as usual and hope that the clinic, agency, and travel coordinator would all be available this weekend to coordinate my travel.  Way to stress a girl out!

In the meantime I packed all of our stuff for the trip.  I knew no matter what, we were most likely leaving in the next day or two.  At least it kept my mind busy.  In addition we had Riley's first swim lesson and went to get Reagan's hair cut.  Yay for distractions!  I also kept a steady stream of emails going back and forth with Belle, so at least I had someone to stress with me.  Haha!

Fast forward a few hours to yesterday afternoon.  It was almost closing time on the east coast and a miracle happened.  I was cleared for travel!!!!  Based on the one test that the lab could get same day results on, the clinic was able to finalize my calendar and release me for travel.  Yay!!!!!!  You would think the stress would end there but it didn't.  Not by a long shot.  

Booking travel was quite the task.  It probably would have been easy, but we're bringing our girls with us to meet Belle and visit NYC.  We're paying for their flights using our American Airlines miles, while the agency pays for my flight and Brian's flight.  Unfortunately American Airlines flights were way too expensive at this point for the agency to pay for.  We'd have to fly United.  We ended up splitting up with Reagan and I on the United flights while Brian and Riley took the American Airlines flights.  It wasn't easy finding flights that kind of left at the same time, at the same airports, both coming and going.  In the end I'll get there 4 hours earlier than Brian.  Whoo hoo!  At least we have the faster flight.  He did book first class for them though.  Boo!  I want to fly first class!  No champaign and warm towelettes for me.  

So that's where we are right now.  We woke up at 4am to jump on a flight to New York.  We're a day earlier than we should be.  I wanted to give us the most time to spend with Belle while we're there.  Our flight gets in at 5pm and we'll drive over to our hotel in Connecticut.  Tomorrow we'll meet up with Belle to visit the Statue of Liberty and the Cake Boss bakery.  Monday I'll have monitoring (ultrasound and bloodwork) one last time before the transfer.  After that we're heading out with Belle again to NYC.  This time we'll check out Central Park and the zoo.  Tuesday or Wednesday is the transfer depending on how the embryos do on the thaw (they are frozen right now).  Bed rest after the transfer.  Then we fly back home Thursday morning.  Phew!  This is going to be a crazy fun week!!!!!!

Don't forget to check out my "Surrogacy" tab at the top of this page to catch up on any posts you might have missed

*Some of the names in this post have been changed to protect the identities of those involved in this journey*

Surro Files: Green Light Means GO!!!

Eeeeeeeek!  Well after a week of peeing on ovulation predictor kit sticks (OPK's) I finally have a positive!!!!!!!  Last night I took my usual 6pm test and almost cried when I thought it was going to be negative once again.  Then after about 2 minutes I started to see the color get a bit darker!  It was positive!!!!

You don't know how excited I am right now!  I've been worried all week that I would miss the surge.  Even after Monday's ultrasound I was only in bliss for a day before the worry started to kick in again.  My old worry was, "What if I miss the surge?"  "What if my lining isn't thick enough?"  "What if I don't ovulate?"  A lot of those fears came to rest after the ultrasound.  I know my lining is great.  I know I'm going to ovulate.  I know out of all the years I have done OPK's, I have never missed a surge.  Those fears were put to rest for the most part.  

My new worry was timing.  Belle has been waiting for me in New York City all week.  This being a natural cycle, we don't really get a good timeline of how things will go so she just booked a block of time and hoped that we would transfer after she got there, but before she left.  Well, that block of time is quickly coming to an end.  Belle hops on a flight back home on Tuesday the 6th.  I REALLLLLLY want her to be there, but at this point I can't say that we will make it.

I just e-mailed the clinic with the exciting news and am now waiting for my new orders.  What do we do now?  I know I'll have another monitoring appointment to confirm ovulation, but I'm not sure if it will be today or tomorrow.  Of course I'll let you know as soon as I hear something!!!!

*Update Before I Post* - Looks like I'll be going in for monitoring on Friday August 2nd to see if I ovulated.  After that we'll book our flights and head on out to CT for the transfer!!!!!  We're getting close Belle!  We'll be there soon!

Don't forget to check out my "Surrogacy" tab at the top of this page to catch up on any posts you might have missed.

*Some of the names in this post have been changed to protect the identities of those involved in this journey.