Monday, August 18, 2014

My Postpartum Body... Stretchmarks And All

This might not be society's idea of beautiful, but I'm proud of the miracles my body has created.
I started this post a few days ago and I'll admit that it ended up on the bitter side of things.  I'm now 6 weeks postpartum and if I leave the house, it's almost certain that someone will ask me when I'm due.  With no baby in sight, I suppose that's to be expected.  Their question isn't what bothers me most of the time (though I'll admit it's getting a bit old).  What bothers me is the look on their faces after I say I already had the baby.  It's not a look of apology, or a look of understanding because they know the hardship my body has endured or the time it takes to recover.  I always expect them to say something like, "Oh!  That totally makes sense.  Congrats on having the baby!  You're looking great for only being a month past the birth."  Yep, a response like that would make me feel a lot better and good about myself and the progress I've made.  But no.  That's not the response I get.  Instead I get a look of surprise, shock, or sometimes even disgust.  They look back at my stomach and their eyes bug out.  I can see what they're thinking.  "Whoa!  And you still look like that?"  The first lady I got this response from actually said this out loud.  It wasn't quite the response I was expecting.

I've given birth 4 times now (three of my own and one surrogate baby).  Each time I gained 45 - 55 pounds, and only about 20 pounds of that comes off right after I give birth.  I've always gotten back down to pre-pregnancy weight, but it takes a bit of time.  A lot more time than 6 weeks.  Never the less, even though I know all of this in my head, my feelings were still hurt, and I've been feeling down.  I mourn my nice pre-pregnancy belly.  I miss it's smooth texture, muscles that meet in the middle, and a belly button ... that well ... looks like a belly button.  After the birth of my first daughter I could barely look at my new tummy in the mirror, let alone let my husband see it, and anyone else ... forget about it!  This wasn't what my friends looked like after childbirth.  They all eventually went back to "normal".  Maybe a stretch mark here and there, but nothing like the pounded meat flesh that I was left with.  I felt alone and cheated.  As the years passed and my other children were born, I got used to my new skin.  I don't feel the need to cover up in my own home and can be intimate with my husband without a shirt on, yet you still won't find me on the beach in a bikini.  No, I haven't gotten that comfortable yet.    

Then I saw a post from another woman who had felt the same way as me;  Someone who had the same post pregnancy belly look as me;  Someone who had decided to bare her skin to show others that yes, we're not alone.  There are many women that don't come out of pregnancy with perfect bellies, and nice smooth skin.  Just because we don't see them on TV, in magazines, on the beach, or within our peers, doesn't mean they aren't out there.  I believe they're all around, hiding for fear that they too are the only one.  Now I'm not saying that I don't miss my old body, or that I'm going to wear a bikini from now on.  I'm also not the type to say "I love my tiger stripes so hear me roar."  What I am saying is that I am proud of what my body has done and for the children it has given me, and the child it let me carry for a friend.  I am saying that I know I'm not alone, and you are not alone.  Today I bear my post pregnancy body to show that a mom comes in many different packages: skinny, curvy, smooth, stretched, tight, sagging, squishy, or firm... We are all NORMAL, and nobody should tell you otherwise.

My postpartum belly ... stretchmarks and all
My 6 week postpartum belly.  Still 15 pounds to lose so my skin still looks fairly filled out and smooth.  Maybe I should post an updated picture this winter to show my true updated look.

15 comments:

  1. http://4thtrimesterbodies.com/
    Thought you might enjoy this!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You're beautiful, lady. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thank you for this, and thank you for allowing us to follow your journeys thus far.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Awesome post Chana! You are an inspiration to all fellow moms. We definitely should all be proud of our bodies for what they can do. My lower belly looked just like that. 2 years later my skin has firmed a lot but it will never look like it did and I am ok with that. Also, before I had kids, I always thought my breasts were too small, now after breastfeeding two children I appreciate them rather than criticize. They sustained my children for a whole year!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thank you for sharing this! So many mommas out there suffer through their own feelings and will love to read your story :) I've learned to love my post pregnancy body also but it sure want an easy journey! I think you are amazing! :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. oooops, accidentally commented with my husband's name attached.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thank you for this post. I am 12 days post partum and struggling to accept the stretch marks I've been "blessed" with (plus a little scar from getting BTL). It's difficult to see myself in the mirror. Unlikely I will be sporting a bikini anytime soon.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Thank you for sharing this Chana. You are a beautiful woman inside and out.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You look great! I think it's important that woman share their pp bodies, so we know there are variations of what is "normal". Your body went through a lot, and it takes a while to get back to what it used to be.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You look great already! I love this post, and love that you shared with us all. It is very inspiring to everyone who reads!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Powerful words here, "I am proud of what my body has done and for the children it has given me, and the child it let me carry for a friend." You're an inspiration.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks for sharing this! I always compare my tummy to other moms, though I know I shouldn't. You are amazing!

    ReplyDelete
  13. You are an inspiration. you are beautiful!

    why are people so RUDE? I will never understand people

    ReplyDelete
  14. Being a surrogate is a gift that can't be quantified. And you are brave for doing that let alone posting these inspiring pictures. Way to go!

    ReplyDelete
  15. beautiful no mater what! just found this blog but i follow you on you tube for cloth diapering! i also have 4 kids my last was at age 30 big babies..but some how i got lucky must be my genes cause i got 0 marks but my belly doesnt look the same as before less flat, look pregnant at times but its all for a good cause we made beautiful children and life! totally worth the change!! I know this is a old post but ive heard great things about the new wraps...also some essential oils help with this and vitamin e! good luck on your journey

    ReplyDelete

Thanks so much for taking the time to show your support with a comment! I LOVE reading all of them and will try and answer any questions that you might have. :)