My Postpartum Body... Stretchmarks And All

I started this post a few days ago and I'll admit that it ended up on the bitter side of things.  I'm now 6 weeks postpartum and if I leave the house, it's almost certain that someone will ask me when I'm due.  With no baby in sight, I suppose that's to be expected.  Their question isn't what bothers me most of the time (though I'll admit it's getting a bit old).  What bothers me is the look on their faces after I say I already had the baby.  It's not a look of apology, or a look of understanding because they know the hardship my body has endured or the time it takes to recover.  I always expect them to say something like, "Oh!  That totally makes sense.  Congrats on having the baby!  You're looking great for only being a month past the birth."  Yep, a response like that would make me feel a lot better and good about myself and the progress I've made.  But no.  That's not the response I get.  Instead I get a look of surprise, shock, or sometimes even disgust.  They look back at my stomach and their eyes bug out.  I can see what they're thinking.  "Whoa!  And you still look like that?"  The first lady I got this response from actually said this out loud.  It wasn't quite the response I was expecting.

I've given birth 4 times now (three of my own and one surrogate baby).  Each time I gained 45 - 55 pounds, and only about 20 pounds of that comes off right after I give birth.  I've always gotten back down to pre-pregnancy weight, but it takes a bit of time.  A lot more time than 6 weeks.  Never the less, even though I know all of this in my head, my feelings were still hurt, and I've been feeling down.  I mourn my nice pre-pregnancy belly.  I miss it's smooth texture, muscles that meet in the middle, and a belly button ... that well ... looks like a belly button.  After the birth of my first daughter I could barely look at my new tummy in the mirror, let alone let my husband see it, and anyone else ... forget about it!  This wasn't what my friends looked like after childbirth.  They all eventually went back to "normal".  Maybe a stretch mark here and there, but nothing like the pounded meat flesh that I was left with.  I felt alone and cheated.  As the years passed and my other children were born, I got used to my new skin.  I don't feel the need to cover up in my own home and can be intimate with my husband without a shirt on, yet you still won't find me on the beach in a bikini.  No, I haven't gotten that comfortable yet.    

Then I saw a post from another woman who had felt the same way as me;  Someone who had the same post pregnancy belly look as me;  Someone who had decided to bare her skin to show others that yes, we're not alone.  There are many women that don't come out of pregnancy with perfect bellies, and nice smooth skin.  Just because we don't see them on TV, in magazines, on the beach, or within our peers, doesn't mean they aren't out there.  I believe they're all around, hiding for fear that they too are the only one.  Now I'm not saying that I don't miss my old body, or that I'm going to wear a bikini from now on.  I'm also not the type to say "I love my tiger stripes so hear me roar."  What I am saying is that I am proud of what my body has done and for the children it has given me, and the child it let me carry for a friend.  I am saying that I know I'm not alone, and you are not alone.  Today I bear my post pregnancy body to show that a mom comes in many different packages: skinny, curvy, smooth, stretched, tight, sagging, squishy, or firm... We are all NORMAL, and nobody should tell you otherwise.

My 6 week postpartum belly.  Still 15 pounds to lose so my skin still looks fairly filled out and smooth.  Maybe I should post an updated picture this winter to show my true updated look.