Monday, November 4, 2013

Surro Files - 4 Weeks

What?!?!?!  Did I really just say 4 weeks?!?!?  Yep!  I'm the type that likes to leave you all hanging, wondering, and begging to know the answer.  Did it work????  Yes it did!!!!!!!

Ok, but now I'm just getting ahead of myself.  So how did the whole last week play out?  Last I wrote you it was Monday.  Testing time had just begun and we were 3 days past transfer.  I didn't really expect anything to show up on a test that early but I tested anyways.  BFN (big fat negative)!  I won't lie.  I was a bit bummed and scared how the rest of the week would play out after that point.  I didn't even tell Belle that I tested that time.  It was out of weakness that I tested and I know I shouldn't have.  I wasn't feeling any cramping which is my only sign that I might be pregnant and I think that's what was getting me down the most.  I'd already started planning for the next transfer.  When would it be?  How would I tell Belle and Adam that I had failed again?  Would it ever work?  So many questions.

Testing Testing 123.  I See Lines, Can You See?
Then everything changed that night.  Brian and I were watching "The Walking Dead" TV series and I started to feel some cramping.  Hmmmm... could this be it???  No, I'm sure I'm just thinking too much into it.  It's probably nothing.  It's probably me tensing up.  But.... it might be.  I went to bed as usual and woke up early the next morning on Tuesday.  I didn't rush to get out of bed though.  I still was pretty sure this cycle was a bust.  I laid there and relaxed as Linc and I usually do in the morning.  Finally I dragged my butt out of bed to go waste another test on another negative.  Bla!  I opened the package, pee'ed on the stick, and set it down to wait.  Staring at the test I saw nothing... again.  But then I started to see something...  No, it was my eye playing tricks.  It was like my eyes were blurry and trying to see a line that I knew exactly where it should be.  So I walked away... then came back awhile later.  Hmmmm... I think I see something.  I think I REALLY see something!!!!!!!!!  I ran to get my camera to take pictures in every room.  What lighting would show this super faint squinter of a line the best.  Belle really needs to see this!!!!!  I e-mailed the pictures off and got an instant response.  "AHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh FREAKING OUT!!!!!" replied Belle.  Followed by e-mail after e-mail after that.  There is finally hope!  At 3.75 days past transfer we have hope!

Our Week 3 Picture (at my son's birthday party)
Wednesday I tested again and it was darker!!!!!  It was a definite line!!!!!  Once again I e-mailed pictures to Belle and we jumped up and down over e-mails about how exciting this was.  Adam was out of town at the time so she planned out a memorable way to tell him the great news.  She planned to give him a mug that said "Daddy" on Halloween.  Halloween marks the first day that Adam told Belle that he loved her and they were officially dating.  You can't get a more perfect day that that!  It's where it all began, and so what better day to begin another chapter in their book?  I'm sure holding out that long was pretty tough for Belle, but it was worth it in the end.  Thursday morning (Halloween), I woke up and took a digital test.  It seemed like hours before anything showed up, but that glorious word showed up.  "Pregnant!!!"  I sent it over just in time for Belle to make the big announcement.  I'm sure she could tell that story better than I could, but I will say that my eyes teared up when she sent me photos of them after she told him.  You could read it all in their smiles.  They are going to be a mommy and daddy!!!!!!!

So what's next?  Well we're 4 Weeks Pregnant now and DUE July 13th 2014.  Tomorrow is our first beta and then the guessing game begins... Is there one or is there two???

... which reminds me ... I forgot to tell you all my dream that I had the day after the transfer.  I had just watched "Gravity" while relaxing after the transfer and I dreamed that the two embryos were just floating in the space that is my uterus.  There was a limited time and they were struggling to get to a safe location which was my lining.  Time was almost up and the older and stronger male embryo knew that they couldn't both make it to safety so he pushed the girl embryo towards the lining so she could burrow in and sacrificed himself.  Hmmmm... will my dream be true?  Is it one?  Is it a girl?

... which brings me to another crazy thought (haha I have all these crazy theories) ... I think that the bean or beans burrowed in while we were watching "The Walking Dead" (see above on Monday) because they were so scared of the zombies and went running to hide in my lining.  Haha!  Guess they will be like their mommy, Belle, who also doesn't like scary stuff.  Haha!

UPDATE:  I just noticed that Belle also posted about her past week today!!!!!!!!  You can read it here - Belle's Blog Post

Don't forget to check out my "Surrogacy" tab at the top of this page to catch up on any posts you might have missed

*Some of the names in this post have been changed to protect the identities of those involved in this journey*


  1. Belle, it's Emily from FF and I just wanted to say how extremely excited I am for you all! I think about you a lot and I'm so so happy that you're going to be a mommy!!! Sticky vibes x 1000000!

  2. Congrats to all!!!! Stick baby(ies) stick!!

  3. Chana, it has been many years since I've seen you and I just wanted to say that you have grown up to be an amazing person. Even when we were children I looked up to you. You were so shy but you were so generous; even then. What you are giving this couple is the most amazing give and somehow not even that surprises me. :-)

  4. Soooooo Exciting!

    Emily- Thanks! Always Thinking of you and yours :)

    Chana- many more emails to come..... :D

  5. Congratulations! I wish you a healthy pregnancy :)

  6. I don't remember how I first stumbled onto your blog, but I have been following you since the beginning of the surrogacy process, and I am so friggin' happy for all of you right now!! You had me checking my blogger dashboard multiples times a day waiting on the news this week :D

    Congrats to everyone!

  7. I had tears of happiness in my eyes reading this! Knowing you both from FF and understanding all too well the toil this journey can take I cannot wait to read all your updates, on both your blogs, on this little bean! Congratulations to you both!!

  8. I am so happy to hear this news!!! Fingers crossed for a smooth pregnancy!


Thanks so much for taking the time to show your support with a comment! I LOVE reading all of them and will try and answer any questions that you might have. :)