Monday, January 28, 2013

A New Adventure Begins - The Gift of Surrogacy


I'm excited to say that my family and I will be embarking on an exciting new adventure very soon. After years of toying with the idea, I've finally decided to give one of the greatest gifts I can give. I've decided to become a surrogate mother for those that do not have the option to birth a child on their own. I've been wanting to do this for awhile now, but only recently has it become an option and agreed upon by my my husband, kids, and I. It will be a group effort so we don't take this decision lightly, but now that we've decided, I know it will be an amazing journey and a life learning experience.

Gestational Surrogate:   A gestational surrogate is a woman who is implanted with an embryo(s) that contains the egg and sperm of the intended parents. In cases where the intended mother is unable to produce healthy eggs and/or the father is unable to produce healthy sperm, the gestational surrogate will be implanted with an embryo(s) that contains donor eggs and/or sperm. Once pregnancy is achieved, the surrogate mother will carry the baby to term on behalf of the intended parents.

I first thought seriously about becoming a surrogate in 2009 when one of my best friends found out that she had went through menopause extremely early in life and could no longer have children on her own. Had she have decided to, I would have gladly carried a child for her or given her my eggs. Since then the idea has remained in the back of my mind. It wasn't till recently that the idea came back to the front of my mind again. Over the years I've met hundreds if not thousands of women trying to conceive children of their own. Some got pregnant quickly in their journey. Others were blessed after years of trying. Then there are others that are still trying after many years of repeated attempts. That's when my friend Belle contacted me. I met her on Fertility Friend (a trying to conceive website) while I was trying to conceive Lincoln. I left the site after Lincoln was born but Belle had kept up with me through my blog. She e-mailed me to let me know that she was now on her fifth and last IVF attempt. Hopeful, but wanting to be prepared, Belle was already planning the next step. They had decided if this attempt didn't work they would use donor eggs, donor sperm, and a surrogate. With this plan in place she was excited and hopeful that they would soon have the baby they so much desired. IVF attempt #5 did fail and she's already begun the process to search out those that will make this dream come true. I would love to help her out, and maybe if the timing is right our paths will cross, but even if they don't I wish them all the best and can't wait to help create a miracle for a deserving couple looking to add a baby to their family.

And so our journey begins. Through my blog I will keep you all updated on the process and how things are going. It might be a long road but we're very excited to walk down this new path in life and hopefully bring life, love, and happiness to another couple.

I'm going to try and keep this journey organized through the tab at the top of this page titled, "Surrogacy".  Feel free to follow me as I continue on this new road in life.

*Some of the names in this post have been changed to protect the identities of those involved in this journey*

29 comments:

  1. This is an awesome "project". I first "met" you on fertility friend and you were always one of the most supportive people. It is so great you are able to give such an amazing gift to someone in need.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is incredible! You are truly an amazing woman for going through with this...and kudos to a supportive husband! I have always wanted to do this as well because it breaks my heart to hear stories of women who cannot have children for themselves. I have left this option open to one of my best friends who has a medical condition that was the result of an abusive father when she was still in the womb. She suffered brain damage which causes her to have seizures so she needs to take medication. Doctors told her it was dangerous to even consider getting pregnant because of the seizures and medication. However, she found another doctor that put her on some alternative therapy so she became pregnant and luckily she had no seizures while pregnant and her son was born perfectly healthy. She wants another child, and I have still left the option to her to allow me as a surrogate ...so I really look forward to your posts! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! That's a super awesome offer you have put out to your friend as well. I'm so glad that she was able to end up having a child on her own, but I can totally understand how scary that would be with her seizures. I'll try and keep you all updated on our journey so just in case you end up helping your friend with #2, you will know what to expect.

      Delete
  3. just amazing I can't wait too read all about it. I always thought about it. I just dont know what I would do when it came to the end. but I think it helps if its not yours and that you are friends I could never send a child off and be like never again will I ever know what happened to them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I thought long and hard about the birth and feel in my mind and heart that I will not be attached with the same bond I have with my children. Knowing the baby is not mine is what does it for me. I'm just helping this baby grow till they can come out and meet their parents. That will be the best moment ever!

      Delete
    2. You are such an incredible person. Good for you for being to experience that distinction and use your strong will to help other families. What an exciting and strong decision to make.

      Delete
  4. Wishing you well in your journey. I'd be very interested to follow along.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You are so amazing, and just keep getting more and more amazing. I am honored you consider me a friend. <3 Many blessing to you and your family as you begin this journey.

    ReplyDelete
  6. That is lovely, I wish you the best!

    ReplyDelete
  7. What an amazing gift you'll be able to give! Wishing you all the best on this new journey.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Chana - I think this is a wonderful and selfless gift that you are giving. I've also thought of doing the same - I am excited to follow along and see how it goes for you!!

    xo,
    Andrea

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Andrea! I hope that sharing this experience with others will bring more awareness and insight into the process so that others that are on the fence about becoming a surrogate will have a greater understanding to make the choice. I'll be excited to hear what you decide to do. :)

      Delete
  9. What a great gift you will be giving! We have talked about it many times but we still want three more children of our own and by the time we are done, I will be about 40, and I think that's over the age that will let you do it.

    I wish you and the families you are helping the greatest in support!

    ReplyDelete
  10. A truly selfless act. I wish you all the best!

    ReplyDelete
  11. What a wonderful thing you are doing! I wish you the best on this journey!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Wow, I am really looking forward to following your journey.

    ReplyDelete
  13. You are gonna do it!!! So excited for you.I look foward to following your journey.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I was going to tell you today, but you know Linc. He gets crazy and throws off my train of thought. : )

      Delete
  14. This is so wonderful! I can't wait to read all about it. It's something I would really love to be able to do for someone someday, but I know my husband does not like the idea. I look forward to learning so much more.

    ReplyDelete
  15. How exciting! I've thought about the idea myself - I have a friend dealing with infertility - and am very interested in your journey and seeing more posts about this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope over the next year I'll be able to share enough information from my journey that you'll be able to decide if it's right for you. What an awesome gift to give your friend!

      Delete
  16. Words can not explain the biggest gift you are about to give, but ...

    thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!!!!!

    Tara x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so excited for you Tara! I just know you're going to be a great mom and can't wait to see your little one in your arms. Pretty soon you'll be just as addicted to cute fluffy butts in cloth diapers as I am. LOL!

      Delete
  17. I'm looking forward to following along on your journey. Best of luck to you!!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. I don't you know personally, but your strength and generous spirit are an inspiration to all women. Sending you many prayers and positive thoughts as you embark on this amazing journey!

    ReplyDelete

Thanks so much for taking the time to show your support with a comment! I LOVE reading all of them and will try and answer any questions that you might have. :)